


Memories of Home

by prubun



Series: RusPru One-Shots [31]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Nationverse, Romance, Sexual Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 02:35:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20593274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prubun/pseuds/prubun
Summary: To save Gilbert from disappearing, Ivan dubs him the personification of Kaliningrad at a world meeting in Saint Petersburg, and brings him back where he belongs.





	Memories of Home

**Author's Note:**

> ##  _As they approached the manor, Gilbert felt streams of tears roll down his cheeks as he recognized where he was. It had only been 2 years since he left but it felt like a lifetime. As the memories of that day filled his mind, he rubbed his fingertips against the ring he still wore on his right hand._
> 
> ** [Posted: September 10th, 2019] **
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this one. Enjoy!
> 
> Takes place in 1992, a year after the Cold War ended.
> 
> **This fic is no longer part of my overall _Memories_ series as of April 25, 2020**

There was no simple or easy way to say that Ivan planned to keep Gilbert in Russia with him — both of them knew that and were prepared for the worst outcome, but when Ivan stood up and began to speak about changes he wanted for Russia, all while he glanced to Gilbert occasionally and visibly showed discomfort with all the eyes on him, Gilbert began to get secondhand nervousness. With the Cold War brought to an end just a year ago, tensions were still high and everyone looked to Ivan and Gilbert strangely.

Then Ivan said it.

"Then there's Gilbert."

Immediately several of Gilbert's friends — Francis, Antonio, Feliciano, and Ludwig too, glanced to Gilbert, who looked even more uncomfortable as he gave a crooked smile to the table. Ludwig spoke first and sounded defensive, questioned Ivan of what he meant. Ivan glanced down and nervously began to speak about Gilbert's health — how everyone has seen how he's been sick, has missed past meetings, and has generally been ill ever since Prussia was officially dissolved 45 years ago. He mentioned Germania and Ancient Rome and how they showed the same symptoms before they died and disappeared several decades after the sickness began.

The room went quiet as Ivan spoke and everyone looked almost somber as they glanced to Gilbert. They all knew what was happening to his body, but they all ignored it until that moment. Then it was obvious to see how bad the illness was.

Ivan cleared his throat.

"Kaliningrad is within my borders, and...the land and buildings are historical to Gilbert, to the Teutonic Knights and the Kingdom of Prussia." He paused to allow everyone to process what he was saying and saw Gilbert's pink eyes trained on him with anxious hope. "I don't want Gilbert to disappear, I assume neither do any of you. So, I'd like to propose a possible solution. To rename Gilbert as the representation of Kaliningrad, and have him stay in Russia with me where he can heal and continue to live."

It was that simple. A simple solution to Gilbert's decreasing health. Hearing Ivan say those words made him tear up and to avoid looking weaker than he already felt, he tilted his head down to hide his face.

Then there was a sudden conversation that caught Gilbert's ears and made his stomach twist with knots. Some loud shouting. Ludwig spoke up first and was angry, and claimed that Ivan was just trying to control Gilbert again and steal him back to Russia or that it was all for his own gain, Ivan denied it and turned to Gilbert for support, begging him to clarify. 

Gilbert stood up, a bit shakily as his limbs felt weak after years of sickness. In that slightly obnoxious way of his, he told them all that he had agreed to the deal before the meeting even started, that Ivan had run everything by him and got his full consent to make this move. No one knew of Ivan and Gilbert's relationship or how close they'd gotten in the past and they didn't need to know the details, but it was clear that there was a connection between them. Ludwig especially saw it in Gilbert's face and voice. He'd seen first hand the slow degrade in Gilbert's health, although his attitude often made it difficult to see how much he was truly suffering — Gilbert always had a smile on his face and told people not to worry about him.

Afterward, there was a silence that filled the room, but then Ludwig spoke up.

"We'll discuss it more when we come back from break. Twenty minutes." Ludwig dismissed everyone. 

Slowly people drained out of the room, while others stayed behind and chatted with each other. Gilbert needed some fresh air and left in a rush. Ivan saw how stressed he was just by the way his back was straightened and how quickly he walked. He followed shortly after but lost track of where Gilbert went, but after searching for a while he found him outside in the chilly Russian air without a jacket just as he lit up a cigarette. Ivan watched from a distance as Gilbert took a drag from the cigarette, and blew the smoke out as he leaned onto the railing that overlooked the water near Saint Petersburg. He looked contented, but like he was relying on the cigarette to calm him.

"Aren't you cold?" Ivan asked as he stepped next to him.

"A little," Gilbert said.

There was an awkward pause where several questions danced on Ivan's tongue.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Gilbert answered and took another drag. Ivan narrowed his eyes sadly, concerned for Gilbert's health now more than ever. It'd already been 45 years; how much longer could Gilbert's body really hold out? He was already so gaunt and sickly, and his wounds and scars weren't healing anymore.

"All things considered, that went better than I expected," Ivan said and followed Gilbert's gaze to the city. "Ludwig was...upset, but that's expected, and I don't think he's thinking clearly right now since the war just ended. They'll all realize what's best for you eventually."

Gilbert scoffed and glanced to Ivan with a skeptical look.

"You're so gullible. They think you're going to use and abuse me," Gilbert stated with annoyance. "No matter how many times I tell them that the rumors about us are bullshit, they can't seem to get it in their thick skulls that you're not the monster your bosses have made you be in the past. You'd think as nations they'd understand that."

"They're just worried about you," Ivan said softly, saddened by Gilbert's words.

"That's not all. Sure my health is important to my brother, maybe some of my friends care, but what about the others? The ones who dissolved my nation and then picked me apart like a dead animal?" Gilbert smashed his cigarette into an ashtray on the railing, twisted his wrist to put it out, and then turned to Ivan. "Even if the war is over they still fear you and what you can do. Do you think they'll just let me come back here without trying to stop you?"

"Where is this all coming from?" Ivan asked. "Last night you were excited and nervous but you sound like you've given up before you even hear their answer."

Gilbert rolled his eyes, looked back out at the city, and sighed as he watched the waves of the bay roll with each other. The smell of the water soothed him, made him nostalgic.

"I just don't think they'll let it slide for too long. I may not be a nation anymore and I don't have an army, but I have my military experience. That alone is a threat."

"But I don't _want_ any of that!" Ivan grabbed Gilbert's shoulders and turned him to face him. He hushed his voice but the intensity was still there. "I just want _you_! Don't you get that!? I love you and I don't want you to die!" 

Gilbert searched Ivan's face and saw nothing but desperation and fear. The man took a shaky breath and tilted his head down in a defeated manner. 

"You won't be on the war council and you won't have any control over anything except for Königsberg. I just don't want to lose you again, I don't care about anything else, I'm done fighting..." Ivan pressed his head into Gilbert's chest for support and started to shake like he was about to cry.

Gilbert processed Ivan's words and then slowly wrapped his arms around Ivan's shoulders, focused on one thing he'd said. The sudden warmth made Ivan gasp softly.

"You called it Königsberg..." Gilbert whispered and buried his head into Ivan's hair.

Ivan blushed softly.

"Yeah, well... It's your heart, right? I should call it by its name..." He felt Gilbert's arms squeeze around him, and he carefully moved back. Gilbert's eyes were wet with the beginnings of tears and his cheeks were pink. "Try not to overthink things. We'll take it on as it comes, but for now, just come back with me and be mine again, yeah?"

Gilbert shifted his eyes out to the water, to part of the city again, and thought about it briefly.

"Yeah, okay."

Ivan quickly glanced around to see if they were being watched, albeit too late for that concern. Once he was sure no one was there, he gave Gilbert a quick kiss and rubbed his cheek with his thumb.

"Let's head back, the break is almost over. Okay? Everything will be okay."

Gilbert nodded, then stood on his tip-toes to kiss Ivan again. He let his lips linger there for a few seconds before he pulled away.

Most of the others had already returned and were either sitting or standing and talking. As they entered, all eyes were on them. Gilbert saw Ludwig's gaze from across the room but walked with Ivan before splitting off and sitting next to his brother again. Ivan sat further away and felt awkward with everyone's eyes on him, like he was guilty of something before he even did anything.

The meeting started up once more and several nations took turns grilling Ivan about his intentions with Gilbert and what it meant for everyone else. His answers were always a mix of wanting to save him and protecting a culture, and he insisted that there was no personal or governmental gain by having Gilbert back. Inside he just wanted to scream that he was selfish and just wanted Gilbert with him again; that he had no ill intentions and was just madly in love with him.

After a while, Gilbert noticed that Ludwig was quiet the entire time. He seemed to just observe and take in every answer Ivan gave while watching him intensely.

Then he spoke.

"Ivan," Ludwig said his name and leaned onto the table. "If we agree to this, do you promise to take care of Gilbert and protect him?"

"Of course I will, I always have," Ivan told him sincerely. That made Gilbert smile a bit.

"And you will allow me to visit, and him to visit me without any escorts or agents?"

Ivan nodded. 

"I already spoke to my superiors about that. No one will stop him from visiting you, and you'll be welcome in my home as well."

"Then," Ludwig said and then stood up. "I'll agree to your proposal, as long as Gilbert states that he's truly given his full consent to becoming Kaliningrad." He looked at Gilbert for an answer.

"You dumbass," Gilbert retorted in irritation, cheek in one palm. Ivan covered a smile under his scarf. "I already told you, Ivan and I talked about it a long time ago and I agreed to everything."

There was a pause again where Ludwig thought.

"Very well. Is everyone else in agreement as well?" Ludwig asked the group. There were a few mutters throughout the room but no one denied completely; there were a few skeptical faces but that wasn't enough. "Then I think that settles it. We'll have official papers drawn up and we'll go from there."

"Actually," Ivan suddenly started and stood up. "I have all the official documents here with me, everyone just needs to sign it."

Ludwig looked surprised but waved Ivan over, and then began passing around the papers. The room took turns reading over the contract and everyone signed without much issue. Afterward, Ludwig cleared his throat.

"Well, this concludes the meeting for now. We'll all meet again in three months for an update on this and anything else we discussed." Ludwig picked up his folders from the table and everyone began to gather their things to leave.

Gilbert watched his brother leave first, and then looked to Ivan, silently telling him that he had to talk to him, and then ran out after him. Ivan let him go and slowly packed up his things before wandering out into the building.

"Ludwig! Wait up!" Gilbert shouted as he ran down the hall. Ludwig stopped and turned as Gilbert approached him. He coughed a few times and caught his breath.

"What, um... What made you change your mind back there? You gave in pretty easy."

Ludwig's expression didn't change.

"I didn't give in, I just realized something."

"And that is?" Gilbert inquired, slightly irritated that Ludwig didn't just come out and say it.

"That Ivan loves you more than anything in the world," he said. Gilbert blushed — he didn't expect that. Ludwig looked off to the side. "I don't really get it, but I... Don't be mad, okay? But...I overheard you and Ivan talking during the break, I saw you two... I heard why he really wants to give Kaliningrad to you. That's why I changed my mind."

Gilbert growled in embarrassment as he rubbed his neck and closed his eyes.

"So now you know our big secret. There's nothing behind Ivan's actions except love. Still gonna give him a hard time?"

Ludwig sighed.

"It's not that simple, you should know that. I'm just worried that my feelings as a brother will affect my duty as a nation."

Gilbert chuckled.

"You sound a lot like Ivan, worried that love will get in the way of duty," he said and saw Ludwig's surprised reaction. "He loves me and is willing to lose control over one of his cities and make compromises with other nations just to have me back. Pretty romantic, right?"

"I suppose..." Ludwig spoke awkwardly.

"Try not to worry so much. I know that's hard for you but I've always been in good hands here, and I don't plan on fighting anymore. It's time for me to retire."

Ludwig scoffed.

"I don't believe you ever could. You're fighting right now."

"Shut up," Gilbert groaned.

"You really love him, don't you?" Ludwig asked when he saw Gilbert begin to fidget with the ring on his finger. "I was there when you got that ring. You said you hated him but you were smiling like you only had happy thoughts in your head."

"I guess I do," Gilbert sighed. "Have for...40-something years, a long time..."

Ludwig placed his hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about everything, and I hope things will get better for you now. As much as I liked having you home, I understand why you want to be here."

Gilbert laughed.

"Germany will always be my home, but Russia is my second home. I'll come visit whenever I can, but first I gotta try to get better. My body is not what it used to be. Ivan won't let me forget that."

Ludwig smiled slightly.

"I'm glad he's looking out for you. I can worry less."

Gilbert let out a laugh.

"You couldn't stop worrying if you tried." He slapped his hand against Ludwig's back playfully. Even in his weakened state, Gilbert still had some strength, and he had hope that he'd be stronger again one day.

Ludwig turned to Gilbert and sighed.

"I have to pack for my trip back so I'll meet up with you again later, besides, someone else is here for you." He patted Gilbert's shoulder before walking off. 

As Gilbert turned to look at his brother, he saw Ivan standing a few dozen feet down the hall with his suitcase in one hand. He had Gilbert's coat folded under his arm. Ivan looked nervous and paced over to him.

"Everyone's leaving..." he spoke quietly and glanced down shyly. "Would you...like to come back with me now...?" 

Gilbert raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why are you being so weird?" Gilbert asked. "Come on, let's go home," Gilbert said and walked passed Ivan. Ivan felt his lip quiver as he felt the need to cry.

"Gilbert!" he yelped and suddenly hugged the other from behind. "I promise, I'll take care of you and get you healthy again, I don't care how long it takes."

Gilbert smiled and touched Ivan's arm around his shoulder.

"I know. Come on, you're making a scene." He looked down the hall where Ivan's sisters had just come into the area. Gilbert waved half-heartedly at them with an awkward grin since Ivan was still hugging around his shoulders. Ivan looked up and saw them and quickly pulled back.

"Are you ready to go?" Ivan asked him.

"Yeah, let's go home."

Ivan smiled, still holding back tears, and helped Gilbert into his coat. They made their rounds and said goodbye to those that mattered, and then left the building. 

Ivan drove them back to the manor in Saint Petersburg where Gilbert had spent so much of his time with Ivan. As they approached the manor, Gilbert felt streams of tears roll down his cheeks as he recognized where he was. It had only been 2 years since he left but it felt like a lifetime. As the memories of that day filled his mind, he rubbed his fingertips against the ring he still wore on his right hand.

Ivan heard a sniffle beside him and looked. Stunned to see Gilbert crying silently, he stopped the car at the side of the road.

"Are you okay? Why are you crying?" he asked worriedly.

Gilbert chuckled through his tears and wiped at his eyes.

"I'm good, just remembering old memories." He cleared his throat. "Come on, let's go. I want to go home."

Ivan smiled. He felt overwhelmed by Gilbert and his words. Hearing him call Saint Petersburg "home" was such a special thing for him. Ivan started the car again and drove the rest of the wall to the house.

Once there, Ivan led Gilbert to the door and unlocked it, then pushed the door open. Gilbert looked inside but didn't step in.

"Welcome home, Gilbert." Ivan gently grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Gilbert looked at him like he was stunned, but then took a breath and stepped inside.

Everything was just like he remembered. The carpets, the wood, the decoration, the smell. Everything.

"I don't want to rush you, but there is something official I need you to do," Ivan said.

"What's that?" Gilbert asked.

"Follow me." Ivan led Gilbert up to the study and pulled out some paperwork at his desk. "Official papers and documents for this to fully take effect. We both need to sign this and give it to my boss, which will do tomorrow."

Gilbert looked over the papers. It was a bunch of formalities, stating that Gilbert couldn't just completely take over Kaliningrad or destroy something. Simply put, he was a figurehead attached to the area because of the historical lands the city rests on, nothing more. Gilbert picked up a pen and signed his name on the line.

"There," he said and handed Ivan the pen. "Your turn."

Ivan gave a crooked grin and rubbed his neck. 

"I already did," he said and flipped the documents to another page where his name was signed. Gilbert breathed out a laugh; he could tell that the ink was old.

"Of course you did. Should have expected that."

"We'll take this to my boss tomorrow." Ivan neatly placed the folders into the desk and turned to Gilbert. "What's wrong?" he asked when he noticed a puzzled look on Gilbert's face.

"Why didn't you have me sign the papers a long time ago? Or bring them to the meeting?"

Ivan nervously tugged at his scarf.

"Just in case..."

"In case what?"

"You changed your mind, once you were back here."

Gilbert's eyes went wide with disbelief. The irritation made him growl. Ivan gasped when he was suddenly pinned against the desk with Gilbert pressed against his front, hips touching, but his eyes were burning with determination and staring right at him. His hands were on the desk behind him, behind Ivan's body, keeping him in place.

"You idiot. Try to have more confidence, at least with me, like you used to," Gilbert spoke softly, almost seductively, as he glanced down Ivan's face to his lips.

Ivan felt his cheeks flush. He remembered how he used to be — strong and powerful, confident in his actions and blunt in his wants; especially with Gilbert. He still was, but with the wars and complications recently, and being worried about Gilbert all these years had beaten him down.

"I'm sorry," Ivan apologized.

"Don't apologize, just get better." Gilbert placed his hands on Ivan's chest. "If you're going to help me get better, you have to too."

"I know, I'll try."

Gilbert smiled and kissed the corner of Ivan's mouth. One hand slipped up to his scarf, the other went around to the back of his head to toy with his hair. Fingers shifted under the scarf and touched along the bandage around Ivan's neck. The touch made Ivan shiver even through the fabric.

"Did you really think I'd change my mind after everything?" Gilbert kissed down his jaw and made him whine. "I'm yours again. You know what that means, don't you?"

Ivan felt Gilbert's head dip into the nook of his neck. He panted softly and blushed when he felt lips press against the bandage.

"Gilbert, wait—" Ivan pushed Gilbert away just a little. "Please don't tempt me, you're so, um..." he felt awkward with Gilbert giving him that sexy look, even though he wanted to give Gilbert everything.

"Weak? Were you gonna say weak?"

"Well..." Ivan looked away from him.

"You said the same thing last night," Gilbert groaned and stepped back. "I told you, I'm not going to break. You can relax a little."

"I know, I know," Ivan spoke quickly with guilt. He knew that Gilbert was right but he was still nervous.

"We should celebrate. Still got that vodka?" Gilbert smiled and patted Ivan's chest. A low chuckle rumbled through Ivan's chest and Gilbert could feel it.

"Of course. I've told you before that we always have vodka."

"Good," Gilbert pulled back and spun on his heels. Ivan paced up beside him and slipped his fingers between Gilbert's and held his hand, then led him out of the room.

In the parlor, Ivan told Gilbert to sit as he poured two glasses of vodka. He then sat across from Gilbert on the opposite loveseat with a coffee table between them and watched as Gilbert took a few sips of his drink.

"You used to hate vodka when you first came here," Ivan commented.

"Not the only thing I got a taste for."

The little grin Gilbert gave him made Ivan blush and turn his face away. He was surprised by the sudden shift in Gilbert's behavior; he had been crying just minutes ago in the car and now he seemed to be undressing Ivan with his eyes.

"Maybe you aren't as sick as I thought..."

Gilbert chuckled at how shy Ivan seemed.

"Maybe." He took another drink, leaned back, and crossed his leg with his ankle on his knee. "When I first came here I think I just hated everything. But you buttered me up soon enough."

"You say that like you didn't like it." Ivan took a sip to hide a little grin.

"Well...at first I was a little weirded out, because, you know." He held his cup with both hands. "I kind of wish we could redo some things." 

Ivan lifted his head a bit more.

"What do you mean?"

Gilbert blushed a little and he shifted his legs back so they both were hanging off the couch.

"The first time we...y'know," he said and glanced to Ivan. Ivan knew what he meant and felt his body warm up a bit. Gilbert looked away again. "I kind of wish we could redo it."

"You didn't want it?" Ivan spoke with concern.

"No no, that's not what I— I just..." He covered his mouth awkwardly. "We were both having a rough time back then, we had sex to just relieve stress. That was my first time, so..."

Ivan stood up and went to sit next to Gilbert, then held one of his hands on his thigh.

"I know it wasn't perfect. Neither of us were in love back then. I wish it would have been under different circumstances..." He paused and saw Gilbert looking anywhere but him. A thought occurred to him. "Is that why you've been so flirty since we got back?"

Gilbert shifted guiltily. Ivan squeezed his hand. He had no idea that it bothered Gilbert so much; that he felt so strongly about his first time.

"Don't make fun of me," Gilbert groaned. Ivan suddenly grabbed Gilbert vodka and placed both cups on the table, then he pulled Gilbert close and dragged him into his lap.

"I'm not. You're cute," Ivan cooed and nuzzled his nose against Gilbert's cheek. "If it's important to you, we can redo it. I know it won't be the same, but we'll pretend and make it feel like your first time again."

Gilbert blushed.

"Well, we haven't slept together in 2 years, so..."

Ivan's expression lit up.

"You're so cute when you get like this..." He pressed his face into Gilbert's neck. "We'll plan for it soon, but I still want to give you some time to recover, if you can hold out that long." Ivan batted his eyes innocently.

Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"Guess you haven't changed after all..." He smiled despite his slightly annoyed tone and glanced down at his right hand. The silver glimmered in the light that hung above them and he narrowed his eyes on the band. "Hey, Ivan?"

"Hm?" Ivan shifted a little.

"We should get married."

Ivan's body went stiff, then slowly he peeled back as he processed what Gilbert said. 

"I'm sorry, what...?" he asked shakily. 

"You heard me," Gilbert told him. His heart was racing as he waited for Ivan's answer. 

After a moment, Ivan turned Gilbert in his lap so he could see his face. As he did, Gilbert raised his right hand to his chest and held it there nervously. Ivan grasped the hand and rubbed his thumb against the ring.

"I... I would love to, you have no idea how much I want to..."

"But...?" Gilbert inquired.

"But...I don't think my bosses will allow it."

Gilbert saw the sadness in Ivan's face as he spoke so he cupped Ivan's cheek and rubbed his face.

"Who has to know? It'll be our secret. We have tons of them already anyway."

Ivan's eyes softened, brows knitted and smiled a little.

"I'll need to get a matching ring." He held up Gilbert's hand and kissed his ring. "You should help me pick one out."

"Should we go tomorrow?"

"I'd like that." Ivan kissed his cheek. He then hid his face in Gilbert's neck. "I can't believe you just proposed to me."

Gilbert chuckled.

"Thought you'd be the one to do it, hm?" Ivan whined into his neck. "Y'know, I've never taken this ring off except for showers."

"You should wear it in the shower, too," Ivan mumbled just under Gilbert's ear. The tone of his voice and the breath on Gilbert's skin made him shiver and tense up.

"Sounds like you're the one who can't hold out until I get better."

Ivan gave a soft noise against him.

"Oh I'll be fine. You really will be like a blushing virgin bride for our wedding night." Ivan chuckled.

Gilbert blushed and groaned.

"Shut up," Gilbert retorted. He leaned forward and grabbed his glass, then took another sip. "So, when should we secretly get married?"

"Well, we could do it whenever, or we could do it the day we get the official statement from my bosses that you're Kaliningrad and belong to me."

Gilbert laughed.

"Pretty ironic, they'd have no idea."

"So, does that sound good, then?"

Gilbert placed his drink back, turned in Ivan's lap, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"Yeah, sounds great."

Ivan smiled happily, then carefully cupped Gilbert's jaw. He pressed his lips to his and then brought him closer, their bodies melted together and Gilbert turned more in his lap, eventually straddling Ivan as they kissed for several minutes. There was so much warmth between them and it filled the entire room with love and light.

There was nothing in the world that felt better than having Gilbert back in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> **Thanks for reading!**   
**Remember to leave a comment if you enjoyed! Thank you! 💕**
> 
> **—**
> 
> **Social links:** <https://linktr.ee/prubun>


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